Imagine, if.

I rip and tear so get the hell out of here.

Thursday, March 15, 2007 @ 10:11 PM

I've messed things up again.

Nothing much happen today and currently my mood is at its lowest.
Gawd, i don't know what hit me maybe the sudden realization that you're gone and i'm just stranded here where you left me.

I really had no idea that it would hit me so badly and that i actually felt the pain.
This couldn't and shouldn't be happening right now.
Wasn't all this a thing of the past?
Why now?

Maybe my mind just wants to believe that it is already a past but my damn heart doesn't agree to it and its protesting now.
Gawd, its agonizing.

I've been thinking of the outcome if you had given me a chance.
Would we be happy?
Would everything turn out the way that we wanted?
Could i really be there for you and give those assurance?

Why didn't i held on tight?
Why did i just watch you leave and not do anything?
I was stupid at that point of time when i just let you walk away, now i couldn't do anything to make you come back.

If only i had learn to cherish and treasure that moment we had.
I'm left with nothing but those memories that doesn't have any hint of emotions or feelings.
I am to blame for being so screwed now.

I read my old posts and realise that i had everything that i needed when you were by my side.
I couldn't have been any happier.
But now take a look at me, i'm just a grumpy ole shitt thinking of what could have been.

Would life be different if hadn't give you that box of chocolate?
I guess if would.
We would just remain as online friends and nothing more.
I seriously don't mind that cause there weren't any feelings involved.
But now i can't return to being just online friends and nothing more, don't forced me to go back to being that please.

You're such a good pretender, there's pros and cons to it.
You could just fob everything off like it doesn't mean anything to you(maybe it really does mean nothing to you.)

Sigh, but i'll be lying if i said that
I don't miss your voice,
I don't miss the sound of your laughter,
I don't miss you disturbing me.
But there's one thing i know i shouldn't be missing is that
I miss being by your side.

The words that you've told me, your smile and those stuff that we do keep playing on my mind.
I've no way to stop it.
I thought that after so long my heart should already grown cold but i was so damn wrong.
It gets stronger every time i think about you.

" I still want to walk with you in the park and eat snow-ice with you"
Does this ring a bell?
Maybe not since you're already way pass that.

Guess i still have to conquer this on my own.
I've gotten over the fact that you're long gone but i haven't gotten over you yet.
Time would help, right?

I guess you won't be reading this.
But even if you do it won't make a difference.

Can we go back to the days our love was strong
Can you tell me how a perfect love goes wrong
Can somebody tell me how to get things back
The way they use to be
Oh God give me a reason
I'm down on bended, down on bended knee

I'm tired of being there.