Imagine, if.

I rip and tear so get the hell out of here.

Monday, December 31, 2007 @ 11:51 AM

I’m afraid to see your back once more.

This post is gonna be a very emo one. If you don’t wanna be caught in it then I suggest you should just close this window right now.

It’s gonna be 2008 real soon and seriously I don’t want the new year to come at all. I still remember getting kicked in the arse with a bunch of others by that fat arse big bird at the beginning of the year. It’s pretty cool having to skip class every single day till she’s satisfied with our uniform and hair. We screwed up real badly but we sure had fun.

I damn miss being with the class and of course my most beloved Xiao zhu. Now we can’t be together like how we used to. We are like together all the time and now, the time I spent with her is less than 24 hours. I will damn sure make it up. I still miss those cheap entertainments that we gave each other when there was nothing to do. Those were the times where our attitude towards most of the stuff is “Fuck la” I think that attitude still hasn’t much change but its just different back then.

Now this one is stupid. I miss holding her school bag for her. Dumb isn’t it? But hell, I miss it though and I don’t know why. And I miss having her right beside me and knowing that she is always an arm length away.

If you’re reading this pig, let’s spend the whole day out some time again. I damn hell need and want to be with you! See, you’re dearly missed by me.

This year I got myself into a whirlwind romance. I don’t know why I got myself into that maybe to take my mind off someone. She got together with me to get over someone too. But then again, I felt like a jerk. I shouldn’t have used someone to get over another. It’s bad I know. But we’re over it and cool with how things are now.

I still remember that on this very day last year. 31st Dec 2006 her one msg broke me down real bad. When I’ve decided to leave it all behind and not take it to 2007, she didn’t make it possible for me. I still remember how screwed I felt. The nights were real hard to get by and I just couldn’t keep my mind off her. That was how screwed I was. Well at least I know that I won’t have to take it all to the next year. And if someday I do miss her, I will just have to go back to my memory of 2006. It contains the best of her. 2007 is just crap so I rather stay clear of it.

I used to need to hear some words from her but as I look back now, I couldn’t remember much less know why I needed to hear it. I guess those words wouldn’t make a difference now since things change and no doubt we’ve changed. Many times I wanted to relieve those old times but I just couldn’t reach her so I don’t have a choice but to deal with it on my own. Plus even if I could reach her, what difference would it make? It’s not as if she will put everything on hold and agree to head back for a day. The memories are a little blurred now cos I don’t often play it in my head so I guess someday I might just forget it and I hope that will never happen cos history makes a person become whoever he/she is.

I still feel a thug at the heart strings whenever I look or think about her so I guess I’m not really over it right? It takes time to completely get over something for me but I don’t know about her. It seems to me that she has already moved on a long time ago. Oh well, maybe someday when I look or think about you, I won’t feel anything anymore. Hahahas. That will be like a million light years away. -.-

So change being constantly the only thing constant and my inevitable fear or change, I guess it wouldn’t hurt to pray.
God, please, keep at least some things the same.

I know feelings do change overnight, it did for me but I rather lock those feeling up so that it wouldn’t be wasted away and I wouldn’t have to watch you walk away. That was really hard. I seriously built it all up just to watch it all fall before my eyes. I don’t even know why I even made the effort to climb to the top just to jump it off the next second. That’s damn bloody stupid.

So, it’s a tradition.

My New Year Resolutions.

I can’t remember what was mine last year and they never work I tell you. But what the heck.

1. To grow a dick.
2. Have great steamy sex with a sexy girl
3. Turn straight
4. I don’t need to find myself a wife cause I’m already blissfully married so I just have to be a better man for her.

HAHA. They damn hell contradict each other. Well, like I said this doesn’t work. HAHAHA

5. Get real drunk with Hilda. (this might happen)
6. Take off with my pay check
7. Kill MOH

I’m done.

That wasn’t so bad right? It sounds pretty achievable to me. HAHAHA

That’s it for now. I’m gonna welcome the New Year in LACOSTE. To hell with it. No partying for me all thanks to the MOH. One hell of a bitch.

Because days come and go
But my feelings for you are forever.