I can’t help but dread.

I can’t fall asleep tonight.
Going to Sentosa in a few more hours and I really dread it.
Not because of the company that I’m going with but the place itself.
But really, they wouldn’t understand why even if I tell them, so what’s the point.

Too much memories in that place.
It’s like going back to the past except that I’m there without you.
I can’t help but think of you whenever I’m there.
I went there about 2 years ago and I swear I thought I’d be fine but I can’t breathe easy there and I want to get out of the place badly.

I don’t want to relieve those days anymore.
That’s why I never step foot onto that island.
It’s not easy and I guess it will never be.
Now I look like a complete idiot because they think that I don’t want to go because of one particular person.
Why will I do that man, not like she’s my greatest enemy.
But that’s the only excuse I can give.
How do I tell them the truth, either way I’d still look stupid.
So I chose to use an excuse which is entirely not like me.
They wouldn’t find out anyway.

On a separate note,
I said that I’m going to let go but it’s not easy at all.
I can’t run away ‘cause in the end, I still find myself back where I left off.
I swear one day I’m gonna run off and never look back.
I’m taking one step away every single day & I hope I will never return ever again, no matter what happens.

Maybe if running away fails, I’m gonna have to pretend that feelings don’t exist.
I can’t face her knowing that my heart feels something, its driving me insane.
So it’s time I should leave it all behind.
She wouldn’t know that I’m gone, it’s not like she know that I’ve always been one step behind her.
So to you, this is goodbye.

I need to run away tonight, I’m afraid.