I’m Helpless When You Smile.

I’m supposed to help out with work in class but I find myself here.
A wee bit too distracted and I can’t seem to focus on anything.
So I shall try my luck in weeding the distractions here.

Let’s see, chunks of my memories came back so I’ve decided to type them down just in case I forget again.
Went to Her hse on Friday to roll around the bed while she sleeps like a pig.
And then to tampines to meet Su and aunty.
Had popeye(=
But we were too full to finish all the food.

On sat went to dad’s club to eat jap(=
Yummy, but I think soon I’m going to be so sick of going there.
Always eating the same thing -.-


-

‘ You may not be her first, her last, her only. She loved before she may ever love again. But if she loves you now. What else matters? She’s not perfect- you aren’t either and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you part of her that she knows that you can break- her heart. So don’t hurt her, don’t change her, don’t analyze and don’t expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she’s not there.”

How true, but somehow I’m afraid.
Afraid to watch everything crumble before my eyes and know that I can’t do anything about it.
Afraid that the stability which I’ve grown accustom to, starts to shake and then disappear.
Afraid that I’d lose not only a companion, soul mate but a best friend.

I’ve been through that countless of times and I don’t think that I can go through with that again.
I don’t want to feel helpless
I don’t want to be disappointed
I don’t want to know that I can never turn back time when I screw things up, which I know that I’m prone to

Alright, back to work.

I can’t stop for her.